Respite care: taking a breather

'My partner has dementia and I really need some time to myself from time to time. When I took the Coping with Dementia course at Welzijn Lelystad, a respite volunteer was with my partner. That gave me peace of mind.'

Chaotic

For Nol, caregiver to his wife Ria (84), this demand became a reality. A year and a half ago, Ria was diagnosed with dementia. Since then, a lot has changed. 'I can't actually leave Ria alone at home anymore,' Nol says. 'She used to go to the supermarket by herself, but that's no longer possible. The overview is gone and then things get chaotic, but she often doesn't realise that herself.'

A click from the start

Fortunately, there is Wytske. She is with Ria every Tuesday afternoon as a respite volunteer. 'The two have such a great click,' says Nol. 'It's very sociable when Wytske is there. I enjoy it. While Ria and Wytske make cards together, Nol has some time to himself.

'Look, I already made these,' Ria says proudly, showing a box of beautiful 3D cards. Everything is neatly sorted by theme: birthday, strength, casual. 'Yes, there's a system to it, you know,' she laughs.

Shared hobby, shared support

Wytske feels right at home in Ria's hobby room, which has cupboards full of creative items. 'We happen to have the same hobby,' she says. 'I have support from her,' says Ria. 'We have support from each other,' Wytske adds. 'How do you handle that? Shall we do it like this? Nice to consult together.'

Anyone seeing them together would think they have been friends for years. But nothing could be further from the truth. The bond arose when Nol attended the 'Dealing with Dementia' course at Welzijn Lelystad in February 2025. Wytske was then with Ria. It clicked immediately.

Humour and resilience

Ria likes to joke about her forgetfulness. 'Then Nol sends me to the supermarket for a pack of coffee and I come home with sugar. Or with nothing.' But behind that laughter there is also a regret. 'I was always busy, very independent. That has changed, though.'

Yet sitting still is not in it. 'Put me here and I am so busy for hours,' says Ria. She loves making cards, jigsaw puzzles, word searches and reading. Nol understands this well: he sits a little further away and loses himself in diamond painting.

A valuable moment for Wytske too

'Like Nol, I am also a carer,' Wytske explains. 'My husband has had a brain haemorrhage. This Tuesday afternoon is also my moment: get out and play cards.' She worked for years in nursing with people with dementia, but stresses that you can also become a respite volunteer without a care background.

Peace, structure and a smile

Wytske brings peace to the home. 'I need that, you know,' says Ria. 'I need to be tempered.' Wytske laughs: 'Otherwise it becomes chaos. Then she asks all the time which stuff I want, starts looking for it and opens everything.' The two have a good laugh about it. At the end of the afternoon, Wytske packs her things. 'I go home with a big smile!'

The two have such a great click.

- Nol, carer of woman with dementia